My Struggle

As you may or may not have noticed, I have stepped back a bit and have not been posting for the past couple of months.  Well, I have been going through a bit of a health issue and subsequent recovery period after a major surgery and have just now decided to share my journey.  This has not been the easiest decision but I feel this topic tends to be brushed under the rug and isn’t as openly discussed as it should be, so here goes.

I have always had a difficult relationship with my uterus, let’s just say we haven’t always been on the best of terms and ever since about 13 years onward I have decided that her one and only goal was to inflict pain and general annoyance, once a month, just to make sure I knew she was there. In the early years it was just your run of the mill achy period and general PMS side effects, that while annoying, over the years I had learned to live with and handle as par for the course. However, she decided to get crankier and inflict more and more painful days upon me until about a year ago when I started noticing that my pants wouldn’t button like they usually did. Now, I am an avid gym rat, eat pretty healthy and do my part to fit into the clothes that I love, however this was different. Its interesting how something that progresses slowly over time can just work its way into your life so that you just accept it as normal, when in reality, something (unbeknownst to me) was growing. I started to think, “well, I guess I’m just fat”. 

Upon further investigation and changing doctors (a fresh pair of eyes and ears can sometimes be the clarity needed) the discovery was made that I was harboring not one but many uninvited guests in the form of fibroids, one of which had grown to the size of a softball and had taken residency nestled dangerously close and needless to say, impeding uncomfortably into my rectum, causing pain and pressure that, as mentioned earlier, I just seemed to get used to as it gradually grew in size.  The remedy for what was going on was probably the biggest surprise of my life and completely threw me for a loop, Hysterectomy. Yep. The word and the thought were a shock to the system and immediately filled me with dread. My initial reaction was, I’m too young! Isn’t this a bit extreme? What are my options? Come to find out, hysterectomy is the second most common surgery among women in the United States. The most common surgery being childbirth by cesarean delivery or (C-section). I was floored to learn that this was such a prevalent procedure and once I started speaking with friends and family I was surprised to learn just how many women I knew that had had this very procedure, all for various different reasons and ages. Why is this such a hidden and taboo subject? 

Once I was able to get a grip and clear my mind, I immediately went into online research mode, which can end up being a slippery slope of conflicting stories, remedies, and horror tales of botched surgeries, slow recoveries and everything that can possibly go wrong. It was frightening to say the least. I was referred by a couple of friends with very good intentions to check out the Facebook group Hysterectomy Sistersand while it is and can be a great community of women for support and advice, I found that it only fed my fear and anxiety about moving forward with the procedure. It seems to me that the majority of women talking about their experiences where mostly negative, not to say their weren’t many positive posts, it just seemed to push my anxiety and fear. In the information age, sometimes it’s just too much. 

I finally came to my senses and grilled my physician, the very talented Dr. H. Elena Rodriguez in Torrance, CA. She went over the pros and cons of the surgery and assured me that, taking my health and physical fitness into account, I would make a full and quick recovery and not to get bogged down by stories and unfounded information I find on the internet.  I opted to have a robot assisted laparoscopic procedure, which was considered minimally invasive and would leave me with 3 very small scars on my abdomen (which I think I’m going to refer to as my bullet hole scars if a stranger where to inquire about there origin, ha!).  It seemed a small price to pay in order to be free from the pain and discomfort I had been experiencing and another plus was that I could stop using the Pill and Testosterone to help control my rogue uterus. 

Now that I’m 10 weeks post surgery I’m feeling great and getting back into the gym! Don’t get me wrong, this was major surgery with a long recovery and not without its stresses and worries. Sitting in the same spot on the couch for a full 6 weeks was probably the hardest part of this whole ordeal. There is only so much Netflix, Youtube, and Amazon Prime videos (along with a few books) one girl can handle before you start to get a real intense case of cabin fever. Not to mention how hard it was for someone like myself whom is used to being a very active and physical person, coming to a full and hard stop. However being free of the pain, pressure and other side effects from having all of that strain on my system has been such a freeing and transformative feeling.  I’m looking forward to slowly getting back into my usual routine and can’t wait to hit the dance floor and live my best life.

I also want to thank my family and close friends that have been here for me during my recovery and that without my peeps this would have been a hard road to go alone. My husband whom took most of the brunt of keeping me going and making sure I was fed, showered and clothed (especially in the first few weeks – tough), my dad and our “slumber parties” on the couch in my first week post surgery so that he could help me to the bathroom at ungodly hours of the night and early morning, and my wonderful tribe of friends that visited and sat with me, whether cooking me meals, supplying me with baked goods, or delivering the latest gossip, all was greatly appreciated and deeply heart felt.

I know this is a very condensed version of this complicated procedure and my recovery, if you would like to ask me any specific questions about my experience, don’t hesitate to send an email or DM on my IG.